EMOTIONAL
DAMAGE
for the devs who didn't sell
waiting for the moonshot.
DROPPING_SOON_STAY_REKT
ARE YOU $SELLDAMAGE?
check all that apply. one is enough to qualify.
- watched it go to 10x. said "sergio, this goes to 100." now -90%.
- sold the bottom. it 8x'd in 3 hours. you stared at the wall.
- averaged down at every level. you now own 30% of the supply with -98%.
- connected your wallet to a "gas optimizer." it optimized your wallet to zero.
- said "i'm not selling until $1." it was at $0.0009. it's now $0.00000009.
- the dev tweeted "WAGMI." the dev rugged 12 minutes later.
- your friend bought 30 seconds after you. he's at +400%. you're at -60%.
- your wife found out. she left with the kids and the lambo (you don't have).
- you're still here, reading this, instead of working.
DIAGNOSIS: $SELLDAMAGE — stage IV. terminal. prescription: see "how to cope" below.
THE OFFICIAL $SELLDAMAGE CHARTSpick your trauma
past performance is no guarantee of future emotional damage.
but, statistically, it's both.
PATIENT INTAKE FORM
+| patient | you, anonymous degen #∞ |
|---|---|
| diagnosis | $SELLDAMAGE — terminal hopium |
| total supply | 1,000,000,000 tokens |
| buy / sell tax | 0% (taxes are emotional damage too) |
| liquidity | burned. and so are you. |
| team allocation | 0% — we already lost everything |
| side effects | paper hands · insomnia · divorce · sudden interest in monk life |
| treatment | HOLD. COPE. CRY. REPEAT. |
| prognosis | up only. or down only. flip a coin. |
signed: Dr. Emotional Damage, MD — license #420.69.1337
CERTIFIED REKT ✕
HOW TO COPE (how to buy)
the 5 clinical stages of becoming a holder.
DENIAL
"i don't trade memecoins." you download Phantom anyway.
ANGER
send SOL to your wallet. the network fee makes you irrationally mad. it's $0.0001.
BARGAINING
open pump.fun. paste the CA. set slippage to 1%. it fails. set to 50%. it fills.
DEPRESSION
watch the chart for the next 47 hours straight. eat nothing but anxiety.
ACCEPTANCE
delete the app. accept your fate. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
ROADMAP aka: the 7 stages of every memecoin
- 🎉launch. everyone is a believer.
- 📈+500% in 2 hours. you didn't buy yet.
- 💎you finally ape. (the top.)
- 📉-40%. you're not worried.
- 📉-75%. slightly worried.
- 🪦-95%. you tell your wife. she leaves.
- 🚀+50,000%. you're not in.
HALL OF DAMAGE
testimonials, scribbled on napkins, from those who didn't sell.
"held since 4M MC. now at 80k. wife in another country. kids think i'm 'on a journey.'"
— @diamondhands69
"sold at -50% to 'protect capital.' it 200x'd in the next 3 hours. haven't slept since wednesday."
— anon, on a park bench
"didn't sell because the dev said 'we are early.' the dev is now in the maldives. i am in collections."
— a guy on telegram
"averaged down with my rent. landlord is now also a holder. we cope together."
— @rentwasdueon3
"got divorced over this coin. she got the lambo i didn't have. i got the bag i still don't have."
— ex-husband, current bagholder
"my therapist asked me how i feel. i said EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. she added a zero to her bill."
— anon, last session
"FUD'd it on twitter so the price would dump and i could re-enter. it 10x'd. i FUD'd myself."
— @galaxybrain1000iq
"the dev's mom DM'd me asking why i was harassing her son. i didn't. that was you."
— wrong target
STILL HERE?
you're already a $SELLDAMAGE holder spiritually.
might as well make it official.
no roadmap. no team. no promises. just damage.